Tuesday, 26 August 2008

Susie is tanning up nicely

Susie is sorry if you were expecting a pleasant holiday-recap-blog today, and to be honest, her holiday was fantastic; but there’s something else that she would rather write about, because it’s negative and judgemental and ranty, and currently occupying her thoughts beyond the Floridian villa and theme parks and stingrays. Susie is just like that.

It’s desperately irritated me for quite a while how so many boys (oh yes, it’s about boys, Susie is that much of a teenager) go for the same stereotypical girl. You know the type; the short, skinny, pretty, flirty girl, who’ll sit on a guy’s lap and play with her hair and laugh at everything he says, even when it isn’t funny. The girl who knows exactly what she’s doing and knows that guys are looking at her and wanting her. The girl who’ll act stupid so that he’ll take the piss and she can hit him on the arm and he can say it doesn’t hurt.

And I suppose I’ve always accepted that ‘boys’ in general go for that kind of girl, but it gets to me when I see that the boys I choose to be friends with are exactly the same. Even the most lovely, seemingly mature, well-meaning boys will always chase after that same girl; and it astounds me how they don’t realise how much they are manipulated by her. I know it shouldn’t surprise me, but somehow every time I manage to convince myself that maybe that’s not what they’re bothered about, that maybe they actually do look beyond all the crap that ‘she’ puts on to the person she really is - these boys, my boys, my friends, always do something to prove that they’re just like all the others, and that I’ll never really match up to that; I’ll always come second best, because that’s not me. And much as it kills me every time I realise that, I don’t want that to be me.

It’s obvious even to me that this is all just a jealousy thing (which ultimately is something I need to work on anyway), but even so, I wouldn’t want to be ‘her’ I don’t think it’s right how she treats boys, and I wouldn’t want to be so blind as to not realise that ‘she’ was me. Much as I may dislike what things are like at the moment, I wouldn’t change it. I think I’d rather have something to complain about.

Susie is done with this.

Well, there's a million other girls who do it just like you
Looking as innocent as possible
To get to who they want and what they like
It's easy if you do it right
Well, I refuse, I refuse, I refuse
Paramore - Misery Business