Tuesday, 23 December 2008

Susie is contemplating blogging.

A few of my friends have blogs. It’s nice. But I’ll be the first to admit that I don’t always read them as well as I wish people would read mine. Granted, sometimes I will honestly and thoughtfully read them and comment or talk to them about it later; but more often than not, I find myself just skimming through them. And just five minutes ago I started wondering what it is that I actually skim read for. Do I look for something that involves me? For my name to come up? Am I looking for some piece of gossip that I can spread or bitch to someone about? Am I looking for suffering? And if so, am I looking so that I might help them, or judge them, or simply relish for the moment that I’m not suffering the same? Am I looking for them to reveal some secret that I’ve always wanted to know about them? Unfortunately, I have a feeling the answer is all of these things. And I’m not sure I’m alright with that.

A non-blogging friend of mine asked me recently why I do it. I said that it was a place to organise thoughts and moan and that ultimately, I find writing soothing in many ways. She said that she could never put all her personal feelings down somewhere that everyone could read it, and I explained that I was more comfortable putting it somewhere public, where people could come and go as they please, than telling someone one-to-one; which ultimately I think just puts on pressure to say something worthwhile.

The thing is, I don’t think I treat my friends’ blogs as I should. Rather than outlets for ‘all their personal feelings’, I spend half my time treating them like some assigned text that I have to get through, and the other half like some trashy gossip magazine. I’m not saying they’re masterpieces or anything, but none the less I reckon I should be taking them more seriously. I sort of wish I had the commitment and compassion to read them as I suppose I hope people read mine, occasionally.

Susie is aware that it is Christmas eve eve and this blog entry has only now mentioned the word once. Susie is assuring readers that she is very very excited about Christmas this year (2 times), and will probably write about it another time. If it is not before the day itself, have some tidings of comfort and joy on her.