Sunday, 15 June 2008

Susie is keeping it short

After weeks and weeks of ‘study leave’ and ‘world of work’, tomorrow is finally time to go back to school. It terrifies me a little bit all the grown up things I’m going to be doing in the next year; which, as our beloved senior management love to remind us, technically starts tomorrow, 8.45am – because attendance to registration is key, of course. Things like doing my A2s, the last qualification of my school life; applying to universities; visiting universities; going to interviews; being in the oldest year in the school. After a few discussions with school people, we’ve established that we’re all only GCSE students at heart, year 10s, maybe 11s at a push, but it still shocks me that I’m a sixth former and I don’t think I’m ready for it yet.

Things have been a bit strange recently, and I think I must have been one of the most terribly irritating people to be friends with; I pity and thank those who have put up with me. Day to day I seem to flick from really happy to really not, based on circumstances which probably don’t even change. I’d write about them, but I don’t even know what’s going on myself; and I think I’ve been told quite firmly that waiting and trusting and ‘seeing what happens’ actually is the best thing to do.

Susie is watching George Sampson’s first audition again, and is still very much in love with him.

Saturday, 7 June 2008

Susie is waiting

So technically I’m really happy at the moment. Exams are over, so I no longer have to continuously feel guilty for not revising more, or face relentless nagging from my parents along the same lines; I have nothing to worry about, and a week to relax not worrying about anything in; I have lovely friends and things are basically just wonderful. Unfortunately today is one of those days when I’m so tired and bored that I’m struggling to actually feel happy at all. Everything does just seem that little bit worse when you haven’t got the energy to appreciate it.

And I’m sitting here with absolutely nothing to do other than watch crap TV; write a blog entry which is shaping up to be absolutely nothing worth reading; wait for a text or a call or an invitation I’m never going to get, and think about things. And of course because I’m tired and bored, I find myself only thinking about the nitty gritty details of all the wonderful things I mentioned earlier that make them anything less than wonderful.

I don’t quite know what would actually make things better today, all I know is that I’m actually irritating myself with this blog, so I dread to think what it’s doing to you.

Susie is quitting while she isn’t even ahead.