Susie is buzzing

I’ve just had a really good night.

 Tonight was the final performance of one of our modules (Theatre and its Others, for anyone who cares). It was amazing how everyone pulled together, a little weird in fact. We had a pretty full-on day; rehearsals and what-not galore. But at the end of it, everyone was just happy for everyone else. Almost the entire year went to the SU afterwards, and as shit as Drapers is, everyone had a good time because we were all there together. Every person you bumped into would tell you how amazing your piece was, and somehow everyone was being honest.

The standard being set her is so high, I watch other people and am amazed that I am part of the same crowd; also doing a drama degree, also getting the same (if not better) marks. It’s wonderful.

At the end of the night, the tutors (one of whom - my tutor, obviously - I love as much as I loved Rowelly) had a drink with us, and we got to chat with them, and they were so happy, it was great. It’s times like this when I’m so glad I took a Drama degree. There’s a level of teamwork and comradery involved that is so lacking from other courses, but I think I crave. Tonight we all just grouped together and celebrated. Even people I didn’t know but saw on stage, we got to know each other for the sake of Drama (how pretentious does that sounds) and just had a good time.

As much as I love Flat 12, and the values it upholds (laziness and bumming around and not being cool) I do like a good night out. I like getting a bit drunk and I like partying and I like going to shitty Dixie Chicken up the road and feeling like I’m part of the cool group.

That’s what tonight was. I was cool for once, I was accepted, I fucking partied, and I fucking loved it.

Susie is changing scenery

So, you will see that this here page has a whole new look. I could have spent this week tapping into the mountain of work I have due in any day now; instead I have spent it reliving my Myspace days - template generators and fumbling through html. Sure, I’ll change my mind about it within a week and sure, my head hurts a little bit from staring at my laptop too long, but I’m pretty sure I enjoyed it anyway. Besides, I’m 19 in 5 days; that makes me 20 in 370 days. And alas, I think that means my days of spending all waking hours in my jammies, fannying about on a computer are numbered.

It’s been a bit of a crap week, if I’m honest. I’ve been bored out of my mind at home - too bored to be happy, too lazy to do anything about it. I think I need structure a little more than I like to admit. Granted, my uni schedule isn’t exactly hectic, but perhaps it’s more stimulating than the (albeit masterfully engineered) TV schedule I’ve been keeping to this week. Maybe it’s just the company I miss; even if we don’t spend every second together, I think I like knowing that I’ve got flatmates down the hall should I want them.

Next week is going to quite counteract this one on all those fronts. I’ve got plenty of work due in, so plenty to keep me busy; I’ll have people around me all the time, from all different areas of my life; I think there’s even a risk I might enjoy going to my classes.

Susie is hoping that soon she will have something interesting to talk about.

Susie is in Essex, innit

It’s reading week this week, so I’m back home for a bit. Flat 12 always gets so depressing when reading week comes around. Everyone goes home - well, except for our delightful new Nigerian contingent who will right now be enjoying running like maniacs up and down our hall, using all our kitchen stuff and burning stuff to it. Yeah, they’re a delight.

Anyway, basically, everyone goes home the first second they possibly can. I don’t know if I should feel bad about not missing my home as much as they seem to be. Last term I was home almost every other weekend for one thing or another; this term I’ve not come home at all until now and it really hasn’t bothered me. I don’t really know what I’m trying to say, maybe the crux of the matter is that I’m just not very nice.

What I’ve realised from this weekend is that it will never stop being weird, leaving the flat. Even coming home for just a week, I still find it odd locking my room and not being there anymore. At the same time, I know that it will be weird when I leave home again to go back. I’m not sure I’m made for this living-in-two-places-at-once thing.

The next little while looks to be pretty good. Granted, this week is likely to be a little dull, getting work done and whatnot; but next weekend the boys are coming down to London for my birthday. As ever, I’ve missed them massively and can’t wait for us all to be back together again, doing pretty much nothing like we always do. Then my birthday falls in the middle of the week, on one of my days off (yesss mate). I will be pleasantly distracted from being depressingly old (yes, 19 is practically dead) by a flat 12 trip to the London aquarium. I count myself very lucky that I’ve found a group of people who are happy to be sad and get as excited about fish as I do. Then the following weekend concludes birthday time with a visit from a few of the CHS girls. It’s going to be a good time, I’m sure of it.

Susie is not sure she can read over that blog without falling asleep, it’s that dull.

All the world's a stage and Susie is merely a player

I suppose it’s stupid that I even bother having this blog anymore, since most of the time I’m too lazy to write anything, and even if I do get round to it I seem to find little to blog about than blogging itself. (What’s the word for a statement that somehow proves itself? I hope there is a word for it, because that was one).

I guess it comes down to whether I’m writing this for my own benefit or for someone else’s. These days, I’ve found that when I have some issue that I need to work through I usually find someone to rant off to about it. Whereas I used to write it all down, now I think about it and gradually let it out to the people around me. I suppose that’s perhaps a more healthy way to go about things, but ultimately when it comes to writing something down, I don’t really have any more I feel the need to say.

The rather old-school ‘today I did this and this and this’ blog doesn’t really satisfy me, either as a writer or a reader of others; but then there are times when I’d rather hear that from someone than nothing at all. What’s more, I enjoy reading back through old blogs regardless of what kind of content they hold. Maybe ‘enjoy’ is the wrong word, but I do it anyway. I like seeing how I’ve changed and grown up and appreciating how situations which felt horrible at the time resolved themselves and I got through them. Maybe that’s a good enough reason to keep it up.

Things I am enjoying at the moment:

• My new double duvet.

• The prospect of all of Mike’s friends coming to visit this weekend, all of whom seem like a right laugh and are (thank God) boys. Susie is saying this not because she is desperate and weird, but because she has spent a lot of time around a lot of girls and needs a change.

• Being fortunate enough to do a degree in which even the horrible stuff is ultimately still enjoyable. I can’t now imagine having chosen a course for any other reason than it being good fun. Also, most of my new tutors are cracking.

• Smirnoff lime vodka. I’m upset it’s a limited edition thing; I would drink it over any other vodka any day.

• Being able to wear slouch beanies all day and pretending it’s because it’s cold, not just because I think they’re cold.

• Fried cabbage, potato and bacon. Easy peasy, without the peas.

• Taking (fairly) impromptu trips to obscure European cities. This time – Oslo, Norway.

Things that are not so enjoyable:

• Having to do laundry.

• Only being able to watch 72 (or sometimes 42, or sometimes 65) minutes of House/ANTM before having to wait an hour to watch the next bit. Also, having watched all the classic series of House with his original team and now having to decide whether or not to bother with the newer seasons.

• Difficult and infuriating people on my course; always ending up in groups with them; having to be pleasant and patient and not smack them in the face.

• Spending too much time with an arguing couple. Mike and Caitlin are great, I love them both and I love hanging out with them both individually; but I’m not sure I can stand being around the two of them together as much as I would like. Their arguments are rarely too severe, but awkward none the less and being put in the middle of a row where ultimately neither side is right or wrong is not a favourite pastime of mine. Want a major downer on a trip to Oslo? Go with a 'grumpy' boyfriend and 'irritating' girlfriend.

Susie is off for another 72minutes.