I’ve been shocked this week by how much people are changing now they’re away. Some of my closest friends are turning into people I neither know nor respect, and I don’t know how to react to it. People change, slowly or quickly, it doesn’t matter, it happens. What right have I got to tell these people that they aren’t allowed to, that they have to remain the person that I knew and loved all these years?
I suppose it’s a natural part of uni really. I suppose I just wasn’t really prepared for it, and that’s why it’s hit me so hard today. I’m scared that we’re all going to come back to essex from our various places around the country and not even be able to talk to each other anymore. In some cases, I won’t mourn that loss desperately hard, but in others, it may ruin me.
And ultimately I don’t know if I’m changing to. I mean, originally there was just one person I noticed a change in, but now there are more and more, and I’m wondering if I’m on the list. I don’t even know if I desperately want to be off the list. I don’t for one second think that the ‘old me’ (if there is one) was perfect and all I ever want to be; but I am scared that I could be completely losing sight of her and not even realising it.
Everyone does some stupid things, right? Everyone does things that aren’t really ‘them’, especially when they first go away and they’re with new people. God knows I did. Deep down I’m hoping that that’s all this is, and that my friends are still my friends, somewhere.
I suppose it’s a natural part of uni really. I suppose I just wasn’t really prepared for it, and that’s why it’s hit me so hard today. I’m scared that we’re all going to come back to essex from our various places around the country and not even be able to talk to each other anymore. In some cases, I won’t mourn that loss desperately hard, but in others, it may ruin me.
And ultimately I don’t know if I’m changing to. I mean, originally there was just one person I noticed a change in, but now there are more and more, and I’m wondering if I’m on the list. I don’t even know if I desperately want to be off the list. I don’t for one second think that the ‘old me’ (if there is one) was perfect and all I ever want to be; but I am scared that I could be completely losing sight of her and not even realising it.
Everyone does some stupid things, right? Everyone does things that aren’t really ‘them’, especially when they first go away and they’re with new people. God knows I did. Deep down I’m hoping that that’s all this is, and that my friends are still my friends, somewhere.
0 comments:
Post a Comment