Thursday 22 May 2008

Susie is walking

For years I told myself that one day I would buy a travel card and just spend the whole day around London by myself. Getting the tube to places I haven’t been before, and just walking and thinking and enjoying the city. And yesterday, I finally did it. Having been lectured somewhat the night before by my mother that i would never get anywhere in life ever if i never do any work, I was frankly in a terrible mood; and it was at this point I decided to go and be productive in a way that I actually wanted to, doing something I’d always wanted to, taking time to think and sort things out for myself.

And it was fantastic. I got off at Liverpool Street and just walked for an hour, not knowing or giving a crap where I was going, what road I was taking or where it would be going to. I listened to businessmen on mobiles talking about 120 grand as if it was nothing, I watched people walking in their expensive suits and thought about how strange it was that they were walking down the same road as me because it was actually the fastest way to get to where they wanted to be, rather than because they felt like it. At one point I found myself at the front entrance to the Gherkin, and let me tell you, if you think it looks impressive from a long way away, or on those big wide shots of London you see on TV, it’s even more incredible from the very bottom of it looking up. I saw people walking into it and people coming out of it for a fag, and thought how weird it was that that was normal for them. I stroll into my school every weekday, go to the room next to the kitchen, that’s what’s normal and natural for me, that’s my place; but these people, their place is this incredible building, and it’s just as normal for them.

A year ago on holiday in Italy my parents decided that a fun day out for us would be to visit these massive caves, I’ll admit, they were absolutely awesome. But we had this tour guide taking us round and telling us about all the rock formations and things, and she just seemed so unbothered by it. We got to this one cave called the ‘Great Abyss’ (fantastic name, don’t you think?), it was hundreds of meters high, and from the top, you couldn’t see the bottom because it was too dark – pretty cool. And of course we had to climb down the side of it; the stairs were barely existent, hideously steep, and of course wet. I was shaking the whole way down, holding onto anything I could find, just incase my feet gave way and I plummeted to my death. But here’s the thing, the tour guide wasn’t. She was hopping down those stairs like they were hers at home; the fear wasn’t there, the amazement at where we were had vanished – just like those people strolling into the Gherkin, it was all normal to her. And that scared me. It scared me that the incredible can just become regular, just because you do it so often. It scared me that I might end up doing a job which I might well love, but that I would lose sight of how amazing it was; I might even lose sight of it so much that I got bored of it. Is it just me who finds that a horrible prospect?

Anyway, back to London. After a couple of hours, I found a nice bit of grass on the south bank to lie on, it was sunny and I think I may have fallen asleep for a bit. It was so nice, I was pretty genuinely happy there. That’s the thing about London; it makes me happy just being there. Something about the mixture of old and new architecture, the traffic, the busyness, the feel of the place; I just love it. I thought about taking my mp3 player with me so I could listen to music as I walked, but I realised I didn’t want to, I wanted to listen to the city, I wanted to walk around it not as an outsider, not as someone looking in, but as part of it. And yes, I managed it. And I was overwhelmed by a sort of pride about the city, our Capital City. As much as I think that any French person has a connection with Paris, so we have a connection with London. And true, it’s scummy in places, there are huge estates that you recognise from those TV programmes about crime and people trying to turn them around and you’re sure that at least 30 people have been killed on some streets, and it’s polluted and there’s traffic everywhere and the prices are extortionate; but who cares? That’s what makes London what it is, that’s what makes it ours and that’s what makes it great.

After lying on my patch of grass for a while, I walked a little further down the bank, until I reached a sign saying ‘Caution, Filming in Progress’, so I walked a bit further up, and who was there? Only Dustin Hoffman. The actual, genuine, real life Dustin Hoffman. I watched filming for a while, and at one point, he had a break, and I swear we had some eye contact. It was awesome.

After that, I was pretty much ready to go home, and spent the entire journey back trying not to let my new celebrity best friend be the highlight of my day.

Susie is wondering if Dustin Hoffman finds acting normal yet. Right now, acting is one of the few things that makes her happy, she doesn’t know what she would do if it stopped being able to do that.

I genuinely recommend taking a day for yourself. Go somewhere; somewhere new, or somewhere you’ve been a hundred times before, it doesn’t matter. Just go. Think and feel and lie in grass and be happy.

Susie is proud that this is the first time she has described something as liberating, without being sarcastic.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

That sounds awesome!
(im very jealous, you were wondering around london whilst I was doing physics. grr)
See you soon
Love becca x x x

Anonymous said...

You know I hate you for seeing Dustin Hoffman but, to be fair I was in the sun with Piggy :p

Also 'the 4' should go to London together, oh the awesomeness that day would be.

Love you really.
Sally XXXX

Ami said...

Well, you never said any of that on the phone... oh yes... you did mention Dustin Hoffman.

:)

Anonymous said...

Jealous, much? Dustin Hoffman sounds like he could just be your new bezzie.

Also, I wish I had the guts to just do this... Wander on my own. I think I'd just get lonely and wimp out and go home.

Grayce said...
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