Today has just put me in a really bad mood. That’s a lie. This evening has just put me in a really bad mood. About 2 years ago I started helping out at XS, and when Ruth and Lizzie started hating it, I really didn’t understand why, because I loved it. But now, I dread every single Monday; it pisses me off, upsets me, and just always puts me in moods like this. The girls are at horrible ages where they start complaining and being mouthy and taking the piss, and I know that I can’t do anything, because the slightest thing I do I’ll get complaints about. I can’t shout at them, I can’t swear at them, I can’t put them in detention or stop them doing the stuff they want to, because I don’t actually have the authority for something like that.
That’s the thing with this place you see, they’re not friendly with me, because I’m a leader, but they don’t respect me, because I’m not a teacher. They reckon that because they’re not at school, they can do whatever the hell they like and I can’t do anything about it. And they’re right, I can’t do anything. And it bloody annoys me.
And it annoys me how stupid parents are. As soon as their little darling comes into the world, they suddenly can’t do anything wrong; their word is truth. And it’s a load of bull. Because then you get kids going home and complaining to their mummies about stuff that never fucking happened, getting attention for it and just making my life difficult.
And they have no right to make my life difficult. I don’t do this for money, I don’t do this for the thanks, I sure as hell don’t do it because I enjoy it. It takes up my time, which frankly, I could be using for much better things right in the middle of my ASs. It takes up my energy; and it really fucking grates on me. Why the hell should I have to come home every Monday night in a foul mood because some shitty child has pissed me off? Why should I have to drag my arse back to that place every week just to hate another hour and a half? Why should I have to get condescending looks from leaders and no thanks from any parent or child; when at the end of the day, I’m fucking good at what I do there, because people come in and tell me so. Why should I have to begin to hate most bloody children, just because I’ve been landed with a shitty bunch? The only reason I have to cope with them is because if I quit, and God knows how tempted I am to quit right now, they wouldn’t be able to run the fucking club. Because I bring 50% of all the leaders: me, and my friends who are willing to do it just because it would help me out.
Is it selfish for me to want some recognition for what I do there? Is it selfish for me to want to shout in the faces of every gullible mother and every attention-seeking child? Is it selfish for me to think that this couldn’t possibly be worth a sentence or two in my personal statement? Is it selfish for me to think that absolutely fucking nothing is worth me feeling this shit over?
Susie is sure that if she could screw the lot of them and enjoy her life instead, she would.
That’s the thing with this place you see, they’re not friendly with me, because I’m a leader, but they don’t respect me, because I’m not a teacher. They reckon that because they’re not at school, they can do whatever the hell they like and I can’t do anything about it. And they’re right, I can’t do anything. And it bloody annoys me.
And it annoys me how stupid parents are. As soon as their little darling comes into the world, they suddenly can’t do anything wrong; their word is truth. And it’s a load of bull. Because then you get kids going home and complaining to their mummies about stuff that never fucking happened, getting attention for it and just making my life difficult.
And they have no right to make my life difficult. I don’t do this for money, I don’t do this for the thanks, I sure as hell don’t do it because I enjoy it. It takes up my time, which frankly, I could be using for much better things right in the middle of my ASs. It takes up my energy; and it really fucking grates on me. Why the hell should I have to come home every Monday night in a foul mood because some shitty child has pissed me off? Why should I have to drag my arse back to that place every week just to hate another hour and a half? Why should I have to get condescending looks from leaders and no thanks from any parent or child; when at the end of the day, I’m fucking good at what I do there, because people come in and tell me so. Why should I have to begin to hate most bloody children, just because I’ve been landed with a shitty bunch? The only reason I have to cope with them is because if I quit, and God knows how tempted I am to quit right now, they wouldn’t be able to run the fucking club. Because I bring 50% of all the leaders: me, and my friends who are willing to do it just because it would help me out.
Is it selfish for me to want some recognition for what I do there? Is it selfish for me to want to shout in the faces of every gullible mother and every attention-seeking child? Is it selfish for me to think that this couldn’t possibly be worth a sentence or two in my personal statement? Is it selfish for me to think that absolutely fucking nothing is worth me feeling this shit over?
Susie is sure that if she could screw the lot of them and enjoy her life instead, she would.
1 comments:
I think very much that you need to have a word with Linda, and tell her that you are NOT enjoying helping out, and Yes, you have more important things to do, and if she doesn't have a word with the girls then you are not going to come and help.
She'll do something then. If you just keep turning up and not saying anything then it's not going to change.
Love you Shmoozie.
Have a big *HUG*
xxxxxx
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