Susie is smiling

Tonight was the final performance for Living With Lady Macbeth, the play that my drama class decided to put on because we love acting just a little bit too much. And it actually went really well. I screwed up some lines and missed some bits out, but I don’t even care. The audience didn’t notice, and everyone said it was great, and that’s all I could ever ask for.

One thing I’ve realised from this is just how very much I love performing. I noticed it after the anniversary supper, with ‘Soul Sisters’; it genuinely makes me happy. So many people dread standing up in front of people, they struggle to be out there and confident and the thought of acting scares upsets them. But what has been made so clear is that I’m such the opposite of that. Being on stage, making people laugh, giving people enjoyment, being someone else for once, is what really does make me happy. I don’t know if it’s just the adrenaline or the endorphins or what, but how I feel now, an hour after the performance has finished, is infinitely better than I’ve felt in a long time.

I wish there was some way I could do this forever. I wish I could change all my plans, switch to acting and actually have a hope in hell of getting anywhere with it.

Susie is going to stop wishing, and start enjoying her brief, but very welcome happiness.